I told Eric last night that I have the emotional fortitude of a kitten right now. I have no "passive courage" or "resolute endurance." I'd like to curl up on the couch with a cup of tea and just stay there for about a week.
The driver of my cab last night even commented that I looked "troubled". I had nothing to say in response. I had picked up several bags of groceries and was treating myself to my first post-grocery cab ride in London so that I could meet back up with Eric and Brooks on-time. What did I have to be troubled about? How could I complain about anything?
~ My healthy, beautiful child was a year old yesterday.
~ I had just said goodbye to my family after a fantastic month-long visit, including three weeks in my favorite country.
~ I was returning home to a man who loves me well and is proving to be a great partner on this London adventure.
My current "troubles" are those of the very, very fortunate - I know this. But I was still so melancholy. And the dark, cold, rainy night didn't really help.
However, watching Brooks destroy his buttercream-frosted cupcake last night improved my mood tremendously. Perhaps another day or two of *slowly* recovering from the chaos of the last month would do me some good. And maybe counting a few other blessings would give me some additional perspective.
There is much to be thankful for, even over here in a country that isn't celebrating it with a special holiday.
1 comment:
I think we are all feeling a bit off, blue, spent, tired, sleepy, teary, and in general not right. Drink that tea. Sit down on that sofa. Take naps. Self-care. Know this word. Practicing it is very hard but needful. It's 6:20ish PM and I'm heading to bed! What?! True.
Did you get a photo of that baby eating a cupcake? I can only imagine.....
Hang in there!! Love you!
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