Ma-Ma!
Brooks was strapped into his stroller, we were ready for our outing to Hyde Park, but I forgot something. I ran back to the bedroom to grab the final item, and all of a sudden Brooks stopped squealing and called out for me.
Ma-Ma!
His first word. My name. Clearly meant to communicate "Hey you! Where are you? Where did you go? Come back!"
My heart melted. Happy day.
Ma-Ma!
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Setting up house
Brooks and I have been having a great time getting our flat in order the past few days. We spend several hours most days going in search of things at the little shops near our place, or taking the bus down to High Street Kensington where I've found that we can get almost anything we need. It's been fun/funny/frustrating (depending on the day) trying to locate the items that we need to manage a house... Last week, I made a 45 minute visit to a housewares store in order to learn all about UK cleaning supplies & laundry detergents. Yesterday was a special trip to the lightbulb store to get a lesson in volts/wattage and try to figure out how to get our crazy UK lightbulbs changed (they don't have our standard screw in kind here). I even made several trips in and out of Argos trying to make sense of that place - it's a catalog ordering company, a la the old school Service Merchandise, where you flip through catalogs, write down the product number on a slip of paper, pay for the item at a kiosk or till (cash register) and then they pull your order off the hidden shelves in the back and send it up to the collection point via conveyor belts. It's really quite efficient, and I should have just asked someone how it worked the first time! And they seem to have at least one of just about everything.
You might have laughed (or cried) if you had seen us on the street yesterday evening. Brooks was riding in his stroller, my purse and some light bulbs were slung over the handlebars, three bags of groceries were stuffed in the underseat stroller basket, and drapped over my forearms were two enormous plastic Argos bags holding the following - a wood and metal telephone table, a two basket stacked cabinet for the bathroom, a "tidy rail" (a hanging clothes rack), a metal over-door coat rack, and a waterproof cover for Eric's bike. Thankfully none of the furniture was assembled, but I'm literally attempting to walk down High Street Ken like this while pushing Brooks' stroller. I was thinking that my arms were going to fall off! In that moment, I so missed my Camry and the ease and convenience of a run to Target!! As I got to the bus stop and took the bags off my arms, my bus was JUST rolling up. Thankfully another woman had mercy on me, and offered to help get Brooks up and onto the bus, so I could just manage the bags. (I think moms worldwide have a special radar out for helping other moms... it's universal.) By the time I got home, I was sweaty and tired, but feeling oh so proud of myself!!
Eric put everything together last night after supper, then we sorted through the remaining boxes of clothes and things from home, and he made a big pile of household goods that our landlady still needs to remove (as this was a very furnished apartment, we ended up having lots of duplicates in the way of kitchenwares and linens, once our goods from Chicago arrived). Since a shipment of things for Brooks and me arrived today (thanks Mom!), the moving company is coming back to remove the boxes and wrapping papers, and the landlady is coming to take away her things, we are so close to having our house mostly "set".
I'll post some pictures as soon as we're done, I promise! We have room for guests... come and see us!!
You might have laughed (or cried) if you had seen us on the street yesterday evening. Brooks was riding in his stroller, my purse and some light bulbs were slung over the handlebars, three bags of groceries were stuffed in the underseat stroller basket, and drapped over my forearms were two enormous plastic Argos bags holding the following - a wood and metal telephone table, a two basket stacked cabinet for the bathroom, a "tidy rail" (a hanging clothes rack), a metal over-door coat rack, and a waterproof cover for Eric's bike. Thankfully none of the furniture was assembled, but I'm literally attempting to walk down High Street Ken like this while pushing Brooks' stroller. I was thinking that my arms were going to fall off! In that moment, I so missed my Camry and the ease and convenience of a run to Target!! As I got to the bus stop and took the bags off my arms, my bus was JUST rolling up. Thankfully another woman had mercy on me, and offered to help get Brooks up and onto the bus, so I could just manage the bags. (I think moms worldwide have a special radar out for helping other moms... it's universal.) By the time I got home, I was sweaty and tired, but feeling oh so proud of myself!!
Eric put everything together last night after supper, then we sorted through the remaining boxes of clothes and things from home, and he made a big pile of household goods that our landlady still needs to remove (as this was a very furnished apartment, we ended up having lots of duplicates in the way of kitchenwares and linens, once our goods from Chicago arrived). Since a shipment of things for Brooks and me arrived today (thanks Mom!), the moving company is coming back to remove the boxes and wrapping papers, and the landlady is coming to take away her things, we are so close to having our house mostly "set".
I'll post some pictures as soon as we're done, I promise! We have room for guests... come and see us!!
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Blenheim - 15 Sept 07
Eric and I decided at the last minute (ie, at 11:00pm the night before) that we were going to head up to the Cotswolds for the weekend. Well, it wasn't entirely last minute - we knew we were going to do something, but weren't quite sure what. It feels like such an amazing luxury to have an entire weekend with no plans ... I'm not sure we had three of those weekends in Chicago ever! We reserved a car Friday night and set out in search of it Saturday morning. After a little bit of craziness trying to get going (FYI Dollar's Rental Car "Heathrow" desk is actually at a hotel approximately 5 miles, and requires a very expensive shuttle bus from the airport to find it), we were on our way. We found ourselves at Blenheim Palace on Saturday afternoon.
Um, WOW!
Blenheim (pronounced BLEN-um) is Britain's only privately-owned palace and it's just enormous. We spent three hours there and could have easily stayed three or four more. The sprawling palace (which reminded me over and over again of Versailles, France) was built in the first part of the 18th century for the Churchill family. It was Queen Anne's thanks to General John Churchill (1st Duke of Marlborough) for a war victory in Blenheim, Germany. The building itself covers 7 acres (of the 2100 acres bequeathed to the family) and was once described by a writer as a "petrified dinosaur or beached whale" - yep, it's that big. But the interiors are lovely, and the beautifully landscaped grounds are even better. Winston Churchill was born (prematurely) in the west wing of the palace. He was the first cousin of Duke #9, the one who married Consuela Vanderbilt (all kinds of juicy gossip in our tour about the young, rich, beautiful American heiress) and spent a lot of time there over the years. The WW2 hero also proposed to his bride Clementine on the grounds, in this little temple...
over-looking this lake ....
It was lovely. As Eric has been reading about Winston Churchill for over a year (a massive biography!) he particularly enjoyed the Churchill rooms with some unique memorabilia from his life. I really liked the library at the west end of the building ... It was designed as a winter "ladies room" so the lady of the house could get exercise walking laps in this ridiculously long room while enjoying the sunshine through the upper windows.
This is about 1/3 of the room's length. Note the huge statue of Queen Anne - giver of this great gift of a house - at the end of the room.
Eric also enjoyed figuring out the current cost of the land and building... Apparently in today's dollars, it would have cost several billion dollars just to build this house, in *addition* to the cost of the land given. Amazing! We decided that if we're ever invited to a wedding here (the family still lives there, but they rent out the gardens and public rooms for private functions) we are definitely going!
Anyway, I leave you with a few more pictures.
The organ at the far end of the library is exquisite, and the ornate ceiling above it is painted in over a dozen different shades of apricot, to highlight the rich texturing of the ceiling patterns.
The high windows, the old books, the classic architecture and fine paintings... I couldn't believe that this is actually someone's HOME. Duke #11 still lives here. Crazy. The tables and things are temporary... the library was being set up for a charity event later that evening.
The formal "water gardens"...
The rose garden is spectacular! I thought over and over again that I needed to show this to my dad. Mounds of plants, all exploding with color, and the fragrance is just heavenly...
The petals beneath these particular bushes reminded me of bridal paths. The earth seemed carpeted in white velvet instead of grass...
One blossom of more than a million... This rose was growing up the side of one of the arches that you can see were circling the whole garden.
Brooks kept trying to pick the petals off... He will not be distracted from his task for a photo!
There were so many big beautiful old trees. This one made me feel like I was walking through the set of "Emma" and wondered where Mr Knightley was... (remember the scene under the trees at the very end, with the really gorgeous glooming light?!)
How much of the entrance can we squeeze into one shot? Not much unless we walk reeeeeally far back into the courtyard. (And yes, the weather really was that perfect!)
Um, WOW!
Blenheim (pronounced BLEN-um) is Britain's only privately-owned palace and it's just enormous. We spent three hours there and could have easily stayed three or four more. The sprawling palace (which reminded me over and over again of Versailles, France) was built in the first part of the 18th century for the Churchill family. It was Queen Anne's thanks to General John Churchill (1st Duke of Marlborough) for a war victory in Blenheim, Germany. The building itself covers 7 acres (of the 2100 acres bequeathed to the family) and was once described by a writer as a "petrified dinosaur or beached whale" - yep, it's that big. But the interiors are lovely, and the beautifully landscaped grounds are even better. Winston Churchill was born (prematurely) in the west wing of the palace. He was the first cousin of Duke #9, the one who married Consuela Vanderbilt (all kinds of juicy gossip in our tour about the young, rich, beautiful American heiress) and spent a lot of time there over the years. The WW2 hero also proposed to his bride Clementine on the grounds, in this little temple...
over-looking this lake ....
It was lovely. As Eric has been reading about Winston Churchill for over a year (a massive biography!) he particularly enjoyed the Churchill rooms with some unique memorabilia from his life. I really liked the library at the west end of the building ... It was designed as a winter "ladies room" so the lady of the house could get exercise walking laps in this ridiculously long room while enjoying the sunshine through the upper windows.
This is about 1/3 of the room's length. Note the huge statue of Queen Anne - giver of this great gift of a house - at the end of the room.
Eric also enjoyed figuring out the current cost of the land and building... Apparently in today's dollars, it would have cost several billion dollars just to build this house, in *addition* to the cost of the land given. Amazing! We decided that if we're ever invited to a wedding here (the family still lives there, but they rent out the gardens and public rooms for private functions) we are definitely going!
Anyway, I leave you with a few more pictures.
The organ at the far end of the library is exquisite, and the ornate ceiling above it is painted in over a dozen different shades of apricot, to highlight the rich texturing of the ceiling patterns.
The high windows, the old books, the classic architecture and fine paintings... I couldn't believe that this is actually someone's HOME. Duke #11 still lives here. Crazy. The tables and things are temporary... the library was being set up for a charity event later that evening.
The formal "water gardens"...
The rose garden is spectacular! I thought over and over again that I needed to show this to my dad. Mounds of plants, all exploding with color, and the fragrance is just heavenly...
The petals beneath these particular bushes reminded me of bridal paths. The earth seemed carpeted in white velvet instead of grass...
One blossom of more than a million... This rose was growing up the side of one of the arches that you can see were circling the whole garden.
Brooks kept trying to pick the petals off... He will not be distracted from his task for a photo!
There were so many big beautiful old trees. This one made me feel like I was walking through the set of "Emma" and wondered where Mr Knightley was... (remember the scene under the trees at the very end, with the really gorgeous glooming light?!)
How much of the entrance can we squeeze into one shot? Not much unless we walk reeeeeally far back into the courtyard. (And yes, the weather really was that perfect!)
A visit to Ashford - 23 Sept 07
Last Sunday Eric, Brooks and I went to Ashford, England to visit the Wilson family whom we know from Park. At Waterloo station, we bumped into Joe and Denise Durkin who were on the tail end of their month long honeymoon and were headed to the same place. What fun to hear about their wedding and travel adventures as we rode the train down together.
Keith Wilson is the head pastor of Ashford Community Church, a small congregation in a charming little village just a few minutes from the Thames. We all enjoyed the members’ warm greetings - I particularly appreciated all the doting on Brooks. I also noticed that the average age seemed to be several decades older than Park’s! Keith did a great job leading the service, including engaging with the young people and bringing his family up on stage to lead the congregation in a new song. Brooks played happily in the crèche and we all stayed for the social hour afterwards and met some of the congregation.
After church, we walked around the church to the parsonage next door to hang out with Keith, Caroline, and their family for the afternoon. What fun!! It was great to see their home and their four kids who have grown up so much in the last couple of years. Brooks napped on the floor of Jesse and Luke’s room (surrounded by Cubs décor, and laying on a Cubs blanket – awesome!) while we gathered around the table and ate and talked about Park, and Ashford, and business, and family, and education, and the difference in the life in the US and UK… Cag makes fantastic “puddings” (the English word for any sort of dessert) and I savored every minute and each bite.
I also loved our stroll along the Thames with Keith, Cag, Abby and Sampson (their beautiful, sweet, enormous “puppy”) later that afternoon and the chance for more conversation. Eric and Keith discussed ministry while Cag and I talked about family life and how both families are adjusting to the UK. She had some great tips for shopping and bargain hunting in London (hurray!) And just hearing a few snip-its of her own challenges was such a privilege.
It’s quite obvious that most of their family would prefer to be in the states again (they all miss Chicago very much!). Understanding their collective and individual struggles as they settle back in UK life somehow soothed me as we headed back into London that evening. Perhaps simply considering other people’s challenges was good perspective. But more than that… there was a real joy in their house despite some very intense - but thwarted – longings. I loved watching how the whole family related to each other and I thought several times – I hope my kids are this helpful, kind, articulate, engaging... The desires for their circumstances to change were real, but the healthy family interactions were, too.
Once again, it was a gift to see their family in action and the entire visit was just so good for my heart! Thanks again, Wilsons!
Jesse and Brooks talk some baseball ...
I couldn't get over how grown up Abby was?!? Wow!
I hope we can see you again soon!
Keith Wilson is the head pastor of Ashford Community Church, a small congregation in a charming little village just a few minutes from the Thames. We all enjoyed the members’ warm greetings - I particularly appreciated all the doting on Brooks. I also noticed that the average age seemed to be several decades older than Park’s! Keith did a great job leading the service, including engaging with the young people and bringing his family up on stage to lead the congregation in a new song. Brooks played happily in the crèche and we all stayed for the social hour afterwards and met some of the congregation.
After church, we walked around the church to the parsonage next door to hang out with Keith, Caroline, and their family for the afternoon. What fun!! It was great to see their home and their four kids who have grown up so much in the last couple of years. Brooks napped on the floor of Jesse and Luke’s room (surrounded by Cubs décor, and laying on a Cubs blanket – awesome!) while we gathered around the table and ate and talked about Park, and Ashford, and business, and family, and education, and the difference in the life in the US and UK… Cag makes fantastic “puddings” (the English word for any sort of dessert) and I savored every minute and each bite.
I also loved our stroll along the Thames with Keith, Cag, Abby and Sampson (their beautiful, sweet, enormous “puppy”) later that afternoon and the chance for more conversation. Eric and Keith discussed ministry while Cag and I talked about family life and how both families are adjusting to the UK. She had some great tips for shopping and bargain hunting in London (hurray!) And just hearing a few snip-its of her own challenges was such a privilege.
It’s quite obvious that most of their family would prefer to be in the states again (they all miss Chicago very much!). Understanding their collective and individual struggles as they settle back in UK life somehow soothed me as we headed back into London that evening. Perhaps simply considering other people’s challenges was good perspective. But more than that… there was a real joy in their house despite some very intense - but thwarted – longings. I loved watching how the whole family related to each other and I thought several times – I hope my kids are this helpful, kind, articulate, engaging... The desires for their circumstances to change were real, but the healthy family interactions were, too.
Once again, it was a gift to see their family in action and the entire visit was just so good for my heart! Thanks again, Wilsons!
Jesse and Brooks talk some baseball ...
I couldn't get over how grown up Abby was?!? Wow!
I hope we can see you again soon!
Monday, October 1, 2007
I'm hanging on
... to my sanity by a thread, as I'm feeling completely cut off from the world!!! Well okay, that may be a little dramatic, but you have no idea how maddening this has become. BT and Tiscali are together two of the most incompetent companies we've ever run into, and while we have done everything we can possibly on our end, we're now being told that we might not have internet access at home until October 16th.
In the last couple of months, I've gotten completely hooked on both blogging and skype (and have always been addicted to email) as a means to stay connected to friends and family back home. So to be unable to just fire off a note or a posting whenever the mood strikes has been terribly frustrating. I'm hijacking an internet connection when I can, but of course our access to it is completely unreliable (as in I can get on maybe 1 out of 50 times I try) and even when I get on, it's often slower than Christmas.
So, all this to say, I haven't packed up my keyboard entirely, and no, we're not dead. But until Eric and I can work out an arrangement for me to get some internet cafe time while he watches Brooks, I'll continue to be inconsistent on my postings and email responses. I'll definitely post when I'm able. Many thanks for your patience, as well as your emails and calls checking on us.
And feel free to leave me a voicemail on skype or drop me an email. I really appreciate your efforts to reach out, it makes the solitude not feel quite so lonely. When I get do have success and get connected for a few moments, it's such a joy to get your messages and emails.
I'll let you know when I'm "live" again. Until then, know that I'm missing y'all tremendously.
In the last couple of months, I've gotten completely hooked on both blogging and skype (and have always been addicted to email) as a means to stay connected to friends and family back home. So to be unable to just fire off a note or a posting whenever the mood strikes has been terribly frustrating. I'm hijacking an internet connection when I can, but of course our access to it is completely unreliable (as in I can get on maybe 1 out of 50 times I try) and even when I get on, it's often slower than Christmas.
So, all this to say, I haven't packed up my keyboard entirely, and no, we're not dead. But until Eric and I can work out an arrangement for me to get some internet cafe time while he watches Brooks, I'll continue to be inconsistent on my postings and email responses. I'll definitely post when I'm able. Many thanks for your patience, as well as your emails and calls checking on us.
And feel free to leave me a voicemail on skype or drop me an email. I really appreciate your efforts to reach out, it makes the solitude not feel quite so lonely. When I get do have success and get connected for a few moments, it's such a joy to get your messages and emails.
I'll let you know when I'm "live" again. Until then, know that I'm missing y'all tremendously.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Roseola
It seems a really obvious at this point. I wasn't sure until the rash had all but disappeared this morning, but it's clear now. Brooks' cold two weeks ago, the 102~ fever last week, and the little tiny red rash on his tummy and face this weekend were all related - roseola. For his first childhood illness, it was pretty mild and I'm so thankful for that. It seemed hard enough on him when he wasn't feeling well. And it wasn't all that fun for us either - I'm starting to understand why parents have been know to do crazy things to keep their kids happy, healthy, and alive.
While researching roseola, I read online that most of the mother's antibodies will have "worn off" of newborns by the time they're 4 to 6 months old, but no mention was made of breast-feeding or bottle-feeding affecting the length of that window... I had previously heard that nursing might extend the time for those "protective antibodies". Anyone heard or read anything about this? Just curious...
No matter what he eats, I know that Brooks is occasionally going to get sick. It's just so sad when he's whimpering and I can see in his eyes "Mommy, make it better"... good thing Children's Tylenol brings down a fever so quickly.
Here are a couple recent pictures of him... showing off his cute new faces. Forgive the leftover food bits - it was just after supper - but he's getting so much more expressive, it just cracks me up! He's obviously feeling better (this was between the fever ending and the rash beginning).
Okay, um, seriously, are you doing that just to make me smile...?
Well, okay maybe it is a LITTLE funny...
While researching roseola, I read online that most of the mother's antibodies will have "worn off" of newborns by the time they're 4 to 6 months old, but no mention was made of breast-feeding or bottle-feeding affecting the length of that window... I had previously heard that nursing might extend the time for those "protective antibodies". Anyone heard or read anything about this? Just curious...
No matter what he eats, I know that Brooks is occasionally going to get sick. It's just so sad when he's whimpering and I can see in his eyes "Mommy, make it better"... good thing Children's Tylenol brings down a fever so quickly.
Here are a couple recent pictures of him... showing off his cute new faces. Forgive the leftover food bits - it was just after supper - but he's getting so much more expressive, it just cracks me up! He's obviously feeling better (this was between the fever ending and the rash beginning).
Okay, um, seriously, are you doing that just to make me smile...?
Well, okay maybe it is a LITTLE funny...
Friday, September 14, 2007
A routine?
Well, I'm not sure about an actual routine, yet, but we have enjoyed the last few days of relative calm. I think that Brooks is starting to feel better. He's gotten over his cold from a week or two ago, but he's been running a fever most days this week... I don't think it's gotten above 102 or so, but it's certainly been unsettling realizing that he's feeling less than his usual upbeat self. As we haven't gotten registered with the National Health Service yet, I'm very thankful it hasn't become more serious.
With his little bug, I've attempted to stick around our temp housing more than normal, to give him lots of nap time. I've been reading quite a bit of Harry Potter - I finished 6 and am half-way through 7 "Deathly Hallows". I'm excited to know the end, but will be so sad to see the final chapter come to a close. Amazing stories...
The weather is turning cooler. I can't wait to receive our shipment which includes all our fall layers and jackets. I just love how European women wear scarves...I'm seeing them everywhere! I think those will be welcomed back into my wardrobe soon.
We're trying to decide if we're going to go exploring the English countryside this weekend or if we're going to stick around and enjoy our last few days in Chelsea. Either choice is a good one! For those of you from Park, we're visiting Keith and Cag next weekend at their church. It will be great to see them again.
Congrats to the Westys on the arrival of their little one yesterday. Can't wait to see pictures!
Love to all.
With his little bug, I've attempted to stick around our temp housing more than normal, to give him lots of nap time. I've been reading quite a bit of Harry Potter - I finished 6 and am half-way through 7 "Deathly Hallows". I'm excited to know the end, but will be so sad to see the final chapter come to a close. Amazing stories...
The weather is turning cooler. I can't wait to receive our shipment which includes all our fall layers and jackets. I just love how European women wear scarves...I'm seeing them everywhere! I think those will be welcomed back into my wardrobe soon.
We're trying to decide if we're going to go exploring the English countryside this weekend or if we're going to stick around and enjoy our last few days in Chelsea. Either choice is a good one! For those of you from Park, we're visiting Keith and Cag next weekend at their church. It will be great to see them again.
Congrats to the Westys on the arrival of their little one yesterday. Can't wait to see pictures!
Love to all.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Eric's take on London Flat-Hunting
The Letting Agency (by Eric Wheeler)
Apologies to Monty Python and their fans.
(Eric and Sarah Catherine walk in the door)
SC: Good Morning.
Agent: Good morning. Welcome to 4 Corners Relocation!
Eric: Ah, thank you, my good man.
Agent: What can I do for you?
Eric: Well, we just flew into London from Chicago and were hoping to find a new abode.
Agent: Abode, sir?
SC: A domicile if you will, sir.
Agent: Eh?
SC: We need a place to live!
Agent: Oh, you’re looking for a flat!
Eric: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little dwelling in Notting Hill will do the trick," so, I sallied forth and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the leasing of a warm, cozy apartment!
Agent: Come again?
SC: We want to rent a flat.
Agent: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player!
Eric: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!
Agent: Sorry?
SC: He likes the tunes!
Agent: So he can go on playing, can he?
Eric: Most certainly! Now then, a home please, my good man.
Agent:(lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?
SC: How about a little townhouse in Notting Hill with a 30 minute commute to my husband’s office.
Agent: I'm a-fraid that’s going to cost about $13,000 per month, ma’am.
Eric: Ok, never mind, how are you on ground floor flats?
Agent: I'm afraid we never have them at the end of the week, sir, they’re listed new on Monday.
Eric: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, what about a place with a lift, if you please.
Agent: Ah! I’ve been waiting for these listings, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting them this morning.
Eric: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, first floor?
Agent: Sorry, sir.
SC: Basement?
Agent: Normally, ma’am, yes. Today I’ve misplaced the listings.
Eric: Ah. What if we look in Shepherd’s Bush?
Agent: Sorry.
SC: Holland Park
Agent: No.
Eric: Anything in Putney Bridge, per chance.
Agent: No.
Eric: St. John’s Wood?
Agent: No.
SC: Parson’s Green?
Agent: No.
SC: Kensington?
Agent: No.
Eric: Victoria, Pimlico, Gloucester Road, Knightsbridge, South Kensington?
Agent: No.
SC: West Kensington, perhaps?
Agent: Ah! We have a ground floor flat in West Kensington, yes ma’am.
Eric:(suprised) You do! Excellent.
Agent: Yes sir. It's... ah,... the layout is a bit strange...
Eric: Oh, I don’t mind weird layouts.
Agent: Well... It's quite bizarre, actually, sir.
SC: No matter. Fetch hither the flat of the Royal Borough of West Kensington! Mmmwah!
Agent: I...think it's a stranger layout than you'll like, ma’am.
Eric: I don't care how freakish it is! Let me see it with all speed.
Agent: Oooooooooohhh...!
SC: What now?
Agent: The landlord has accepted another offer.
Eric: Has he.
Agent: She, sir.
(pause)
SC: What about a mews house?
Agent: No.
Eric: What if we increase our budget?
Agent: No.
SC: Perhaps unfurnished?
Agent: No.
SC: What about a longer commute?
Agent: No.
Eric: You... do have some flats, don't you?
Agent:(brightly) Of course, sir. It's a letting agency, sir. We've got...
Eric: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.
Agent: Fair enough.
Eric: Uuuuuh, Westminster.
Agent: Yes?
SC: Ah, well, let’s have a look at it!
Agent: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, then. Mister Westminster, that's my name.
(pause)
Eric: Earl’s Court?
Agent: Uh, not as such.
SC: Uuh, Bayswater?
Agent: No
SC: High Street Kensington?
Agent: No
Eric: Sloane Square?
Agent: Nothing at the moment, sir, no.
(pause)
SC: Aah, how about Chelsea?
Agent: Well, we don’t have any listings because it isn’t very popular with our clients, ma’am.
Eric: Not very popular? It's the single most famous neighborhood in the world!
Agent: Not 'round here, sir.
Eric: And what IS the most popular neighborhood 'round hyah?
Agent: Fulham, sir.
Eric: Is it?
Agent: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.
SC: Is it?
Agent: It's our number one most popular area, ma’am!
SC: I see. Uuh...Fulham, eh?
Agent: Right, ma’am.
Eric: All right. Okay. 'Have you got a place in Fulham?' he asked, expecting the answer "no".
Agent: I'll have a look, sir... ...nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.
Eric: It's not much of a letting agency, is it?
Agent: Finest in the district!
Eric: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
Agent: Well, it's so clean, sir!
Eric: It's certainly uncluttered by real estate listings...
Agent: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Baron’s Court, sir.
SC: Would it be worth it?
Agent: Could be....
Eric: Have you - SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF!
Agent: Told you sir....
Eric: (slowly) Have you got anything Baron’s Court?
Agent: No.
Eric: Figures. Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me:
Agent: Yes sir?
Eric: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any flats here at all.
Agent: Yes, sir.
Eric: Really?
(pause)
Agent: No. Not really, sir.
Eric: You haven't.
Agent: No sir. Not a parcel. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir.
Eric: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.
Agent: Right-Oh, sir.
(Eric takes out a gun and shoots the Agent)
Eric: What a senseless waste of human life.
Apologies to Monty Python and their fans.
(Eric and Sarah Catherine walk in the door)
SC: Good Morning.
Agent: Good morning. Welcome to 4 Corners Relocation!
Eric: Ah, thank you, my good man.
Agent: What can I do for you?
Eric: Well, we just flew into London from Chicago and were hoping to find a new abode.
Agent: Abode, sir?
SC: A domicile if you will, sir.
Agent: Eh?
SC: We need a place to live!
Agent: Oh, you’re looking for a flat!
Eric: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little dwelling in Notting Hill will do the trick," so, I sallied forth and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the leasing of a warm, cozy apartment!
Agent: Come again?
SC: We want to rent a flat.
Agent: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player!
Eric: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!
Agent: Sorry?
SC: He likes the tunes!
Agent: So he can go on playing, can he?
Eric: Most certainly! Now then, a home please, my good man.
Agent:(lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?
SC: How about a little townhouse in Notting Hill with a 30 minute commute to my husband’s office.
Agent: I'm a-fraid that’s going to cost about $13,000 per month, ma’am.
Eric: Ok, never mind, how are you on ground floor flats?
Agent: I'm afraid we never have them at the end of the week, sir, they’re listed new on Monday.
Eric: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, what about a place with a lift, if you please.
Agent: Ah! I’ve been waiting for these listings, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting them this morning.
Eric: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, first floor?
Agent: Sorry, sir.
SC: Basement?
Agent: Normally, ma’am, yes. Today I’ve misplaced the listings.
Eric: Ah. What if we look in Shepherd’s Bush?
Agent: Sorry.
SC: Holland Park
Agent: No.
Eric: Anything in Putney Bridge, per chance.
Agent: No.
Eric: St. John’s Wood?
Agent: No.
SC: Parson’s Green?
Agent: No.
SC: Kensington?
Agent: No.
Eric: Victoria, Pimlico, Gloucester Road, Knightsbridge, South Kensington?
Agent: No.
SC: West Kensington, perhaps?
Agent: Ah! We have a ground floor flat in West Kensington, yes ma’am.
Eric:(suprised) You do! Excellent.
Agent: Yes sir. It's... ah,... the layout is a bit strange...
Eric: Oh, I don’t mind weird layouts.
Agent: Well... It's quite bizarre, actually, sir.
SC: No matter. Fetch hither the flat of the Royal Borough of West Kensington! Mmmwah!
Agent: I...think it's a stranger layout than you'll like, ma’am.
Eric: I don't care how freakish it is! Let me see it with all speed.
Agent: Oooooooooohhh...!
SC: What now?
Agent: The landlord has accepted another offer.
Eric: Has he.
Agent: She, sir.
(pause)
SC: What about a mews house?
Agent: No.
Eric: What if we increase our budget?
Agent: No.
SC: Perhaps unfurnished?
Agent: No.
SC: What about a longer commute?
Agent: No.
Eric: You... do have some flats, don't you?
Agent:(brightly) Of course, sir. It's a letting agency, sir. We've got...
Eric: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.
Agent: Fair enough.
Eric: Uuuuuh, Westminster.
Agent: Yes?
SC: Ah, well, let’s have a look at it!
Agent: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, then. Mister Westminster, that's my name.
(pause)
Eric: Earl’s Court?
Agent: Uh, not as such.
SC: Uuh, Bayswater?
Agent: No
SC: High Street Kensington?
Agent: No
Eric: Sloane Square?
Agent: Nothing at the moment, sir, no.
(pause)
SC: Aah, how about Chelsea?
Agent: Well, we don’t have any listings because it isn’t very popular with our clients, ma’am.
Eric: Not very popular? It's the single most famous neighborhood in the world!
Agent: Not 'round here, sir.
Eric: And what IS the most popular neighborhood 'round hyah?
Agent: Fulham, sir.
Eric: Is it?
Agent: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.
SC: Is it?
Agent: It's our number one most popular area, ma’am!
SC: I see. Uuh...Fulham, eh?
Agent: Right, ma’am.
Eric: All right. Okay. 'Have you got a place in Fulham?' he asked, expecting the answer "no".
Agent: I'll have a look, sir... ...nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.
Eric: It's not much of a letting agency, is it?
Agent: Finest in the district!
Eric: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
Agent: Well, it's so clean, sir!
Eric: It's certainly uncluttered by real estate listings...
Agent: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Baron’s Court, sir.
SC: Would it be worth it?
Agent: Could be....
Eric: Have you - SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF!
Agent: Told you sir....
Eric: (slowly) Have you got anything Baron’s Court?
Agent: No.
Eric: Figures. Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me:
Agent: Yes sir?
Eric: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any flats here at all.
Agent: Yes, sir.
Eric: Really?
(pause)
Agent: No. Not really, sir.
Eric: You haven't.
Agent: No sir. Not a parcel. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir.
Eric: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.
Agent: Right-Oh, sir.
(Eric takes out a gun and shoots the Agent)
Eric: What a senseless waste of human life.
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