Happy Birthday

Five months old today!
I'm so glad that you were born...
Hardly a Peanut anymore.
Grampa Charlie calls you "Little Man" and that's what you're already becoming.
I love watching you grow.

Looking Back

Last night I went to the memorial service of someone that I didn't know very well. He went to my church and was a part of the newly marrieds ministry. His name was Brian, and he died in his sleep last weekend at the age of 28.

His wife, his widow, was his high school sweetheart, and she wrote an exceptionally well-crafted statement, a sweet letter of hope and recollection, that was read aloud at the service... I spoke to her very briefly afterwards and was incredibly impressed with her poise and grace throughout it all. She hugged and accepted the condolances of a huge crowd of people after the service and she seemed so strong throughout all of it.

Brian was a man who loved the Lord, and so - appropriately - his memorial service was filled with hope, with worship, and with a clear presentation of the gospel. And despite not having any of my own stories to share, I was moved to tears during several of the testimonies. I left wishing that I had known him better and realizing the enormous ache that his untimely passing will leave in the hearts of so many.

Perhaps the hardest thing for me personally was the realization - once again - of how tenuous life really is. I go about my days and years so casually, it seemed to me as I walked home... What am I doing here? Last night was a sober reminder that God has specific number of days for me to know Him, to love Him, to serve Him with my life. How am I using them? Of all that fills my days, what is really important in the long run? It was really a lot to consider.

His wife said after the service that "support has no expiration date"... She's certainly aware of how hard the next season of her life will be and how she will need to lean on others. I pray that our church community would love her well in the months and years to come. And I pray that I would live my life fully, as Brian did, and that those who remember me would say that I pointed them always to Christ.

Discoveries and Looking Forward

Brooks has just noticed this week that he actually, that's right, has FEET. Wow! And those toes are just the perfect size to fit into his mouth!!! While I haven't actually caught him chewing on them yet, I know it's just a matter of time. I mean, the evidence is everywhere - Eyeing his feet hungrily, Reaching towards them with his mouth wide open, A sock lying innocently on his belly at the end of his nap. It really is funny...

He is also drooling up a storm!! I thought the spit up was constant ... I had no idea. Would someone please turn off the faucet in my baby's head?! It's amazing to me how much liquid can exit one small person. Isn't he going to get dehydrated or something? I'm sure this is just a normal start to the teething stage, but oh my goodness...

The three of us leave for Hilton Head, SC on Saturday and I'm so excited. It will be our first vacation as a little family of three, and I can't wait for the sun and the beach and the pool and the seafood. Unfortunately, Brooks is a little young to tag along on our bikes (a favorite HHI activity) but we'll enjoy everything else, especially the change of pace and the down-time ... It's an incredibly relaxing place for us - we stay at Eric's grandfather's house (Thanks, Grampa H). The last time we were in Hilton Head, our nephew HKW learned how to crawl... perhaps we'll actually catch Brooks trying to eat his feet while we're there.

Family Time

As in "family of origin" time... Brooks and I flew to Nashville for a few days in honor of my dad's birthday. He turns 78 tomorrow. Unfortunately, Eric had to hold down the fort in Chicago, and take a quick business trip today, so we missed sharing the trip with him.

But oh, what fun to show off all of Brooks' new tricks and hang out with my folks and "Aunt Sissy". It's been a great few days... Brooks is in the "golden age of babyhood" right now and I love seeing my parents' faces light up at the sight of their grandchild. Grandpa Charlie calls him "little man" or "big boy" and my mom's baby talk voice just about kills me. Sissy seems to attract spit up only when she's wearing work clothes that require dry cleaning. It's a riot!

Tonight, Brooks sat in his car seat on a chair pulled up to the supper table with us. So cute! As we finished up the meal (steak with blackberry clobber for dessert!), I looked around and thought, this is one of the last times we'll be able to enjoy this kind of leisurely dinner hour... In a few short months, Brooks will be crawling or eating baby food, and meal times will be very different than the relatively peaceful meal we enjoyed tonight. Look out!

This trip, Brooks has slept fairly well, but both nights so far, he's gotten up for a feeding in the wee small hours. After putting him down to sleep, I wandered out to the back porch and enjoyed my grandparents rocking chairs and savored the gentleness of the most relaxing spot on the planet. It was absolutely lovely!

Thank you, family, for a great visit. I love you and I love Nashville - to me, it will always be God's Country.

Day 132

I can't believe that Brooks is over four months old!


Every day he seems to do something new - what a joy to watch! For example, in the last few days, Brooks has rolled over multiple times from belly to back, inserted his pacifier back in correctly after yanking it out, mastered the swat toys on his car seat bar and belly-laughed hard when I tickled him. He's getting better at his tummy time though he still protests strongly after a few minutes. He still loves to stand up on our laps but yesterday he figured out that if he doesn't straighten his legs when we lift him, he'll end up as a puddle on our laps... he thought that was very funny. He can now pass his toys from one hand to another rather well, it doesn't seem accidental anymore. He loves to grab onto my new hair and at times seems mezmorized by the curls. And he's getting rather adept at holding his own bottle of milk when I step away to finish up supper...

And what's probably the most fun, he's the most social kid I can imagine. He's been vocalizing a ton since January, but now he's screeching, screaming, shouting, yelling, cooing, chattering, singing, talking - an incredible variety of noises - and trying to use them all to get my attention! If I'm doing something else when we're in the room together, I'm prepping supper, unloading the dishwasher, whatever, he'll just screech (his favorite) louder and longer until I smile at him. He can't get enough of the "smile at me" game...

This new personality awakening is even changing how he eats... Before he just attacked his meal as if he was famished, but now after he's taken the major edge of his hunger, he'll stop himself every few sips to look up at me and smile. And not just a little twinkle, a huge "you're my favorite person in the whole world, and I couldn't be more happy with life"grin that takes up his whole face! It's exceedingly cute.

My other favorite times of day are when I go get him in the morning - I can hear him practicing his voice by cooing and squealing into the monitor - and he just lights up and grins at me. And after he's well fed and is eager to play or read books - whatever I introduce him to, he's ready for anything. And when Eric comes home from work, changes clothes and rough-houses with him before supper. The giggles and squeals from the living room are priceless. What fun!

I can't believe how amazingly rewarding it is to begin to see a little personality shine out of that adorable face. I've always loved his eyes - they are bright and happy and seem to absorb everything around him. But now they are responsive in new ways, lighting up when I give him undivided attention. He's a complete joy and I'm loving the time at home with him.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

For the first time since junior high, my hair doesn't hang down my shoulders. My friend who cuts hair at Vidal Sassoon here in the city has been trimming my hair a few inches at a time for over a year now. Today I finally gave him permission to do whatever he wanted. He hesitated only for a moment, saying he knew exactly what he wanted to do. However I believe he was afraid I would be disappointed/upset and freak out on him for the major overhaul (in some places he cut off 10-12 inches of hair!)... but I didn't. It was time for a change. Anyway, here's my new 'do!


He talked about releasing the curl so my hair could "do what it does naturally..." It definitely wouldn't look anything like this without all the product he added, so I'm not sure that this counts as "natural", but what the hey... It's fun, and I think that I like it. I certainly don't feel frumpy, and boy was I heading in that direction!

The true test will come tomorrow morning as I stare in the mirror and wonder - how did he DO that?! If I can make it look this good by myself in my own little bathroom, then I'll be pleased.

What do you think?

Love o the Irish

Eric's childhood best friend, Trenty, came into town this weekend with his lovely girlfriend, Ashley. They were celebrating the five (no, actually six) month Trenthold dating anniversary and enjoying a break from work and school for a few days.

We decided that in honor of their visit and because neither one of us has ever seen it, this was the year we'd take in the Chicago St Patrick's Day festivities. Collectively, we've lived here more than 10 years, and we're getting ready to move so there's no time like the present!

Other than the cold (lots of snow flurries & a stiff western wind) and the drunken crazies (how early do you have to begin drinking to be intoxicated by 10:30am?), it was a very fun morning.


We went down to the River North/Loop area to see the city fathers dye the Chicago River green. Unfortunately, because of the significant winds that morning, the green water all stayed in one place, so we had to leave our comfy indoor viewing area and crowd into the Michigan Ave bridge area to get the all important photo evidence.

We stopped for treats and to warm up and then headed over to Grant Park for the parade. Chicago's finest in blue were doing their best managing the traffic, but it was a zoo - much like the one that Chicago becomes on Marathon Sunday or Fourth of July. I was so thankful for Eric's shoulders breaking a path for Brooks and me in the crowds.

Brooks was a champ for about 2.5 hours of our excursion, charming folks wherever we went. We got to see quite a bit of the parade before he declared it was time to go home. Trenty and Ashley headed off for a 90 minute wait for a table at Pizza Uno (their second deep dish experience of the weekend, as we had of course introduced them to yummy Giordano's the night before), and we jumped on the EL to make our way home and collapse. Wearing Brooks in his mobi-wrap for 3+ hours was a bit harder than I imagined, but we agreed that it was a much nicer way to transport him than in an as-of-yet-unpurchased stroller.

I'm so thankful for old friends, new friends and our shared adventurous spirit to try new things. I'm also thankful for our adorable little leprechaun who doesn't object to doing whatever his parents decide to try!

Seeking Stroller Sanity

Wanted - one lightweight, large knobby-wheeled stroller with a reclining seat, one-hand steering, and a large shopping basket for transporting an adorable four month old. Want single-handed folding, adjustable canopy, and good looks. Must have machine-washable fabric. Needed immediately for savoring Chicago in springtime and for grand European adventures. Will provide an intimate and exclusive relationship with a loving and appreciative family. One condition - consistent performance under (over?) all the urban street stress we can dish out. Come, be our fourth-Wheel-er!

Eric and I finally broke down and bought a stroller Monday. Brooks turned four months yesterday, so yes, it was about time. Well, the whole experience was ridiculously difficult in ways that I just didn't anticipate. Our new stroller is still in the box with the receipt in my wallet, just in case I need to return it. And I'm still searching the web for something "better". How can acquiring a single piece of baby gear be so insanely complex?

Lightweight vs full featured? Large shopping basket vs easy to collapse & carry? Good for public transportation vs good for cobble-stone streets. Compact double wheels to fit in our trunk vs some large knobby ones that can take a beating as our primary mode of transport? Something cheap that I won't feel guilty pitching after we beat it to death in the next 12 months vs one that will last for years? And of course, what about Brooks' siblings? With this kind of investment, shouldn't we look at a stroller that can convert to a two-seater?

And THEN, once you've chosen the stroller, do you get the wind/rain cover, the matching buggy bag, the winter-weather boot, or my personal favorite - what about the "atmosphere shield" (to protect the little darling from "dangerous pollutants" on the way to starbucks)? The choices (and their corresponding price tags) are mind-boggling...

As I described to SWS today, the shopping process made me feel absolutely crazy - like one of those cartoon characters who has black and white swirls for eyeballs. I felt frozen with fear that I'd choose the wrong brand or model... that I'd get it home and end up hating my choice.

I guess that's what's really bothering me now... This kind of thing has happened to me before. WHY am I so paralyzed by decisions like this? I find that I really want to do things RIGHT. That I am compelled even, to pass some sort of stroller buying test... but who's responsible for grading me? I mean, really, what am I afraid will happen if I make the "wrong" choice? Perhaps I buy one too quickly without finding the ideal stroller? That could mean that I am too lazy to research thoroughly. Well, honestly, I'm not sure that the "perfect" stroller even exists. What if we have to buy another stroller at some point? Does that make me a bad steward of our money? That will probably happen no matter which one I choose. Perhaps most honestly, I fret that my choice will somehow disappoint someone... but who am I trying to please? Certainly not Brooks! He doesn't care if he's riding in a $900 Bugaboo or a $39.99 Walmart umbrella stroller. And who else really matters?!

So, what does God say about this? Unfortunately, the Bible is strangely silent on the subject of stroller selection. But since I say that I want to be about the things that God values, I guess that means I don't make decisions based on the world's standards. Because I claim that I want all of my life under His Lordship, that must include shopping, right? It certainly includes how I raise my children. But does He even care about what kind of stroller I push?! I mean how important is it to Him that I shop with eternal purpose every single time I plunk down cash for something? Surely I'm over-thinking this. I can't get neurotic about every single thing I buy, fixated on finding the best thing at the very best price to meet all our current and future needs and by so doing, honor God and respect Eric and love our kids with my incredible responsibility and financial management... AHHH! Where is the freedom and joy in that?! I mean there must be an answer in here somewhere, right?

God, please give me some stroller sanity. And help me invest my time and effort on things that really matter... whatever they are.